Love

Love Triangle – The Couple and the Best friend

We all know about the romantic love triangle where either 2 people are competing for the attention and love of one or one person is conflicted between two partners and can not readily make a choice. That I will not bore you with, most of us know what it is like and have figured out a way to make it work. Today we deal with a less known (considered less important or threatening) but by my opinion a far more dangerous kind of conflict.

The love triangle involving the couple and the best friend can cause all sorts of havoc as jealousy runs rampant and parties feel neglected and undervalued. For those who have a best friend, I do not need to tell you the kind of connection that develops between these two people. For some, they have shared everything for over 10 years and others even more than that and feel life without the other would be quite unbearable. The best friend can be anyone from a sibling, parent, relative or just ordinary friend.

But as I always say, life is love, and in comes the romantic love interest. While one is the love of your life, the other is your soul mate and to you it is the perfect setting, you could not ask for more. It is therefore difficult for you to understand why two people whom you love so much would be unable to get along (sometimes they do). Maintaining these relationships can soon become hard work especially if the two start to compete for your attention and drama is likely to ensue if parties get jealous or feel neglected. It might help if you see things from their perspective:

The best friend/s
Having spent majority of your memorable moments together, your best friend is used to being the centre of your world. No matter where you go or what you do, everything gets back to them and you rely on them even for things they can not provide. For example, it is not uncommon for your best friend to call you about a plumbing problem at their house even when you know nothing about plumbing. When you fall in love, your best friend especially in the beginning may feel neglected, as the relationship grows you may depend on them less as now you can share the load between the two of them. Having to share your attention with another person after so long may not go down well with them and if they are the childlike kind, there might even be some tantrums.

The significant other
Keeping in mind that not every body has a best friend with whom they share everything, your love interest might be one of these, in which case understanding why you spend so much time with another person may be difficult for them. Some people may actually feel that you have no room in your life for them and having to compete with a person who knows you so well on a daily basis may not be their cup of tea. Your partner may not understand why your best friend calls you up at 3 a.m. in the morning to talk about the interesting twist in a book you are both reading.

How to deal with it?
Before the situation escalates and you lose one of your two favorite people, it is best first to talk to them individually and then together so that they can understand your point of view. Let them be aware of the love you have for them and the important role they play in you life. If they really love you, in most cases they will understand and should try to get along and eventually may become great friends themselves.

The beauty of a love triangle involving a best friend is that, they will understand your situation and will be ready to compromise. They have known you for a long time and generally want you to be happy and if this makes you happy then they are willing to support you, as someone said, ‘Why fight for what you can’t lose?’. And if all else fails, check out the ABC drama Grey’s Anatomy and see how the significant others deal with the ‘Twisted Sisters’.

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